So last night was a bit of a fiasco. I went to the ER, I had an infection under my arm and it was spreading and hurt and I knew I needed to have it taken care of. So I did. I haven’t exactly been taking care of myself the way I am supposed too because of lack of medical insurance. I lost it a few months back and have been battling with the state to get it back. Apparently giving birth doesn’t always relate you to the child? ANYWAYS, so I went to the ER they yelled at me for being overweight and for smoking, yea yea I know I need to quit. I got the script for the stuff I need to take care of the infection, but today I have been so sick and light headed and dizzy I haven’t been able to get in the car and drive to go get it. My hubby is working til late tonight so hes of no use. I cant take the fact that I smell so freaking bad at the moment and there is just nothing I can do about it. I have been washing my arm at least 4 times a day with dial antibacterial but I’m still oozing so its really getting me no where. Last night we were driving home from the hospital, Tyler was driving and we had both the windows down. I had rested my elbow on the window and the breeze hit under my arm and the cool air felt so amazing I just kept it that way. About 5 seconds later Tyler says with his nose turned up “What is that horrible smell” I almost wanted to die. Its not something I can control…even though I wish I could. He apologized profusely because he knew he had embarrassed me and told me he loved me anyways “For better or worse, In sickness and in health..this is just the worse and in sickness part” but I still felt like burring my head in a hole. I’m getting married in 7 weeks. I have the most beautiful gown ever….How am I going to look pretty if I cant even shave under my armpits. How am I going to hug people, which happens a lot at wedding if I stink like rotten cheese every time I lift up my arm? What if I ooze on my gown? I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just want this to go away at least for one day. Tomorrow is my future mother in laws birthday and I have volunteered to be the one to make the cake and have everyone over here to celebrate. My kitchen is a disaster and I need to clean it, I just haven’t had the energy to do anything, not to mention I want to vomit every time I stand up. Oh well, its 8pm so my bedtime routine is only minutes away with my little one and this mommy has tons to accomplish before I can crawl into my own bed. Wish me luck everyone. I may need it.